Eastern Conference
Bruins/Hurricanes – Hurricanes in 7
Carolina is coming off on the winning end of what can be described as one of the biggest single game collapses in recent memory. Winning 3-2 with 1:30 left, Brodeur and the Devils gave up 2 goals to lose the game, the series, and their dignity. The Devils loss is the sporting equivalent of banging a really hot girl, only to pull out and blow your load into your own bellybutton. With the emotion of a game 7 win on the road, Staal putting the team on his back, and Cam Ward playing like his Conn Smythe season, the Canes should be set for another long outing versus the Bruins.
Boston comes into the series with plenty of rest after decimating the Canadiens. With no disrespect to the Bruins, they didn’t have much of a series as the Habs just didn’t show up. The depth of this team will show its true impact vs the Canes, and if the scoring continues to come from all spots they should cruise into the East finals.
However, Tim Thomas will caught up in a whirlwhind of speculation for the Vezina, and I think he ends up disappointing. Carolina steals game 1, but the Bruins rebound at home for game 2. Alternating wins throughout the series will set up a Canes victory on the road... again.
Eric Staal scores in Double OT
Capitals/Penguins – Penguins in 5
Much like Carolina, the Capitals will be on a major high after coming back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Rangers in 7. Sergei Fedorov’s goal with under 5:00 left in the third completed the comeback, and set up the marquee second round matchup that Gary Bettman has obviously rigged for media purposes.
The Crosby-Ovechkin matchup will be incredibly entertaining and should make for some great renditions of Coach’s Corner. The debate over who is better, and why people hate Crosby because he’s a whiner, and hate Ovechkin because he’s a show-off should bore people the entire series. Also, with the Hart Trophy nominations revealed today, a secondary storyline between Malkin and Ovechkin should be much more entertaining.
However the difference maker in the series will be goaltending. Simeon Varlamov (who actually made a point of correcting Pierre McGuire’s pronunciation – it is Var-LAM-ov) will get peppered in this series, and will have to deal with real hockey players, and not the New York Rangers. Marc Andre Fleury will have a stellar series, and help return the Pens to the Eastern Finals.
Also, before the series starts I am going to buy stock in the Bic/Papermate companies. The endless references to Pens/Caps... Pens and Caps... and PenCaps is a marketing gold mine.
Sidney Crosby scores the OT winner in Washington. The beefed up security escorts the Penguins fan sitting behind the bench wearing a Crosby jersey out of the arena so he doesn’t get attacked by Bruce Boudreau. I wonder if the lady who got hit the head with Tortorella’s water bottle will show her face.
Western Conference
Red Wings/Ducks – Red Wings in 6
I said if the Red Wings and Ducks were to meet up in the first round that the Ducks would upset the Wings. But I’ve changed my mind. Despite an awesome performance from Jonas (or Yonas) Hiller, I can’t see him repeating against the offensive powerhouse of the Red Wings. Even though the Jackets are terrible, the Wings put up some great performances against Vezina nominee Steve Mason. I like the Ducks to maybe steal a couple games to make it interesting, and to give the Wings a wake-up call for the Western finals. And keeping with tradition I anticipate an epic brawl between Ryan Getzlaf and Nicklas Lidstrom. However unlike Joe Thornton, Lidstrom’s fight may actually spark his team, and not be a point of ridicule for the next 4 months.
Game 6 will be a route, and expect Marian Hossa to have a big series after coming on strong in game 4 of the Jackets series.
Canucks/Blackhawks – Blackhawks in 6
This matchup on paper looks like it should go the distance, but I like the Blackhawks to take it. The Canucks looked impressive in their opening round sweep of the Blues, but again it is the Blues. Luongo will get his saves, and keep the Canucks in every game of the series, but I like Chicago to get it done. The Hawks dominated the Flames in the final 2 games of the Western Quarterfinals, including a decisive series clinching win in Calgary. Not an easy place to do so.
Vancouver and Calgary are essentially the same team, and I may even give the overall edge to the Flames. The Canucks offense is stagnant as per usual, despite a decent series from the Swedish Meatballs. I like Toews, Kane, and Havlat to take it down, and they should produce a similar result to the Flames series, however this time on home ice.
Dustin Byfuglien will score the series clinching goal, and Brent Seabrook will continue to progress in this series.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Erik's NFL Mocking Draft
Mike Mayock, Pat Kirwan, Erik Sodonis....wait what was that last one? I can't claim to have any sort of draft experience like a Pat Kirwan who actually gets to interview almost all of the potential first rounders, or Mike Mayock whose loveable lisp predicts Mark Sanchez to be the best long term QB in the draft. But what i do have is a little bit of funny in me. Here is how I see the first round panning out.
1. Detroit - Matthew Stafford - QB
I could go many ways with this pick mocking. Theres the obvious "its the detroit lions so obvioulsy hes going to be an epic failure." Or i could go, "he's not even the best QB in the draft." But i think ill go with "name the last good Junior QB whose last name doesnt end in 'oethlisberger' to be drafted in the first round? Stafford = Grossman
2. St Louis Rams - Eugene Monroe - T
Dont give me any of this "same-school" crap. What has Virgnia done lately? Theyre simply drafting Monroe here because hes fat and good at pushing people.
3. Denver Broncos - (From KC) - Mark Sanchez QB
KC will grab denvers 2 first round picks and denver will grab Mark Sanchez. Its amazing to me that guys stock can rise and fall without actually doing anything. Denver will think they have their QB of the future until 1 of 2 things happens: 1) Kyle Orton beats him for a job in training camp 2) the organization's new head coach three years down the road tries to trade him for a career backup who had a decent year.
4. Seattle Seahawks - Steve Largent...er...Michael Crabtree - WR
Im not going to make fun of this pick because he will be playing on my team...Many people have jason smith or eugene monroe at this pick...but you cant pass up a shot at the best skilled player in the draft. Hasselback drops back, looks off Housh, deep bomb to Crabtree....BOOOOOM broken ankle...ok maybe i lied when i said i wouldn't make fun of this pick
5. Cleveland Browns - Aaron Curry - HYBRID
I don't care how good this guy is, hes a defensive player with a (kinda) girls name who went to Wake Forest...clearly a football powerhouse. Either way he'll fit in nicely with clevelands crappy 3-4.
6. Cinncinati Bengals - Andre Smith - T
Clearly Jason Smith is the right choice here but were talking about the Bengals. This team is like a blackhole for guys with attitude issues and Andre Smith will fit in perfectly with his pentiant for showing off his man boobs that make him a good 20 pounds heavier than the other top tackle prospects.
7. Oakland Raiders - Jermey Maclin - WR
They should take Jason Smith here but Al Davis is a moron and is still pissed that seattle took Crabtree so he tries to one up them by taking the 2nd best reciever in the draft. Thats right Al Davis, you have to settle for second best
8. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jason Smith - T
Mad that there are no decent black Qb's in this draft, they settle for who many draft experts agree is the best tackle in the draft. He will be the cornerstone tackle the jags will want to take with them when the franchise relocates to LA.
9. Green Bay Packers - Brian Orakpo - HYBRID
KGB's days are over as a man with an equally stupid name takes his spot on the starting roster.
10. Washington (FROM SF) - Tyson Jackson - DE
Washington trades with SF for a guy with HUGE injury problems. According to NFL.com he left a game agasint the Florida Gators in 2007 after a helmet to helmet collision. Man....such bad injury problems
11. Buffalo - Michael Oher - T
After their big name tackle left town (Peters), the Bills fill his place with 309 pounds of Mississippi (by way of Memphis, Tennessee) goodness. Experts are afraid he wont adjust well to being away from his adopted parents, but the town of Buffalo will provide great short term hospitality until he is fully adopted by the city of Toronto.
12. Kansas City (From Denver) - Everette Brown - DE
GM Scott Pioli could literally draft anybody or anything and it would be an immediate upgrade. Id love to hear "The Kansas City Cheifs select: Edna Pioli - Inside Linebacker - Shady Acres retirement home" Somewhere in the world, Zach Thomas sheds a single tear.
13. SF (From Washington) - BJ Raji - DT
This pick is oh so perfect. Raji will love San Fran's drug culture, and be able to take tips from another Bay Area juicer. Also with a name like BJ in San Fran...oh nevermind.
14. New Orleans - Malcom Jenkins - DB
NFL.com is gold when it comes to scouting. "Can make plays with ball in hands." So basically what New Orleans gets here is a Urologist/Shutdown Corner combo. Also, he has a stupid goatee.
15. Houston - Vontae Davis - CB
Its Houston. Who cares who they draft.
16. San Diego -Rey Maualuga - LB
San Diego won't put any thought into this one since they already had great success with another Hawain linebacker before.
17. New York Jets - Josh Freeman - QB
Rex Ryan will try and get a Flacco 2.0, but Freeman won't ever live up to Jets greats like Favre, Pennington and Clemens. J-E-T-See you on the golf course.
18. Kansas City (From Denver) - Clay Matthews - LB
After passing up on Gm Scott Pioli's grandmother with their first of denver's picks, Kansas goes with Shady Acres all-star backgammon player Hubert Buttonwood. Seriously though, Cushing is the WHITEST guy i have ever seen in my life.
19. Tampa Bay - Peria Jerry - DT
Tampa trades for CB Terence Newman. Seinfeld like hilarity ensues.
20. Detroit - Aaron Maybin - DE
Maybin he will be good, Maybin he will be bad, only time will tell right?
21. Philly - Knowshon Moreno - RB
Will never be as good as Westbrook. Will get into onfield disputes with McNabb about not getting the ball enough. Will be eaten by Andy Reid.
22. Minnesota - Percy Harvin - WR
Harvin's injury report reads like a novel. That coupled with the fact that he is a poor man's Bernard Berrian means Minnesota doesn't get another steal this year.
23. New England - Brian Cushing - LB
Brian won't like New englands surfing scene. Belichick won't like being called dude. Draft fail.
24. Atlanata - Evander "Ziggy" Hood - DT
Atlanta needs to go name crazy after last years crazy name disappointment. C'mon....Matt Ryan? If all goes to plan, Evander will create the "Ziggy bird" dance after allowing 2-3 yard runs.
25. Miami - Kenny Britt - WR
Bill Parcells will bring the tough Jersey kid to the warm shores of Miami Beach. Look for Parcells to go for CB Christopher Moltisanti in the 2nd round, OLB Silvio Dante in the 4th, and LT Tony Soprano in the 6th
26. Baltimore - Darius Heyward- Bey - WR
A dejected Heyward-Bey will never play a game in the NFL after the recession means he has to chose one last name to appear on this jersey. The Heyward-Bey clan is far to proud to accept this request.
27. Indy - James Laurainitis - LB
Colts fans are extatic that they find this guy's Lithuanian successor
28. Buffalo - Michael Johnson - DE
This guy's neck rivals the CN Tower. Perfect for the Bills relocation to the Great White North
29. New York Giants - Brandon Pettigrew - TE
Recent rumours say that talks with WR Braylon "hands of stone" Edwards have failed. New York turns to the draft to find their player to drop catches in double digits. His criminal record is also a plus in the eyes of the Giants brass.
30. Tennessee - Larry English - LB
Some are touting this guy as the next Shawne Merriman. That means he will injure himself roughly once a year, be a bad anchor on an even worse network, and get OWNED by 5'7" runningbacks.
31. Arizona - Chris "Beanie" Wells - RB
Arizona drafts another offensive player to hide how bad Kurt Warner actually is.
32. Pittsburgh - Max Unger - C
This draft gives Big Ben a new bum to touch. Big Ben likes touching bums.
1. Detroit - Matthew Stafford - QB
I could go many ways with this pick mocking. Theres the obvious "its the detroit lions so obvioulsy hes going to be an epic failure." Or i could go, "he's not even the best QB in the draft." But i think ill go with "name the last good Junior QB whose last name doesnt end in 'oethlisberger' to be drafted in the first round? Stafford = Grossman
2. St Louis Rams - Eugene Monroe - T
Dont give me any of this "same-school" crap. What has Virgnia done lately? Theyre simply drafting Monroe here because hes fat and good at pushing people.
3. Denver Broncos - (From KC) - Mark Sanchez QB
KC will grab denvers 2 first round picks and denver will grab Mark Sanchez. Its amazing to me that guys stock can rise and fall without actually doing anything. Denver will think they have their QB of the future until 1 of 2 things happens: 1) Kyle Orton beats him for a job in training camp 2) the organization's new head coach three years down the road tries to trade him for a career backup who had a decent year.
4. Seattle Seahawks - Steve Largent...er...Michael Crabtree - WR
Im not going to make fun of this pick because he will be playing on my team...Many people have jason smith or eugene monroe at this pick...but you cant pass up a shot at the best skilled player in the draft. Hasselback drops back, looks off Housh, deep bomb to Crabtree....BOOOOOM broken ankle...ok maybe i lied when i said i wouldn't make fun of this pick
5. Cleveland Browns - Aaron Curry - HYBRID
I don't care how good this guy is, hes a defensive player with a (kinda) girls name who went to Wake Forest...clearly a football powerhouse. Either way he'll fit in nicely with clevelands crappy 3-4.
6. Cinncinati Bengals - Andre Smith - T
Clearly Jason Smith is the right choice here but were talking about the Bengals. This team is like a blackhole for guys with attitude issues and Andre Smith will fit in perfectly with his pentiant for showing off his man boobs that make him a good 20 pounds heavier than the other top tackle prospects.
7. Oakland Raiders - Jermey Maclin - WR
They should take Jason Smith here but Al Davis is a moron and is still pissed that seattle took Crabtree so he tries to one up them by taking the 2nd best reciever in the draft. Thats right Al Davis, you have to settle for second best
8. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jason Smith - T
Mad that there are no decent black Qb's in this draft, they settle for who many draft experts agree is the best tackle in the draft. He will be the cornerstone tackle the jags will want to take with them when the franchise relocates to LA.
9. Green Bay Packers - Brian Orakpo - HYBRID
KGB's days are over as a man with an equally stupid name takes his spot on the starting roster.
10. Washington (FROM SF) - Tyson Jackson - DE
Washington trades with SF for a guy with HUGE injury problems. According to NFL.com he left a game agasint the Florida Gators in 2007 after a helmet to helmet collision. Man....such bad injury problems
11. Buffalo - Michael Oher - T
After their big name tackle left town (Peters), the Bills fill his place with 309 pounds of Mississippi (by way of Memphis, Tennessee) goodness. Experts are afraid he wont adjust well to being away from his adopted parents, but the town of Buffalo will provide great short term hospitality until he is fully adopted by the city of Toronto.
12. Kansas City (From Denver) - Everette Brown - DE
GM Scott Pioli could literally draft anybody or anything and it would be an immediate upgrade. Id love to hear "The Kansas City Cheifs select: Edna Pioli - Inside Linebacker - Shady Acres retirement home" Somewhere in the world, Zach Thomas sheds a single tear.
13. SF (From Washington) - BJ Raji - DT
This pick is oh so perfect. Raji will love San Fran's drug culture, and be able to take tips from another Bay Area juicer. Also with a name like BJ in San Fran...oh nevermind.
14. New Orleans - Malcom Jenkins - DB
NFL.com is gold when it comes to scouting. "Can make plays with ball in hands." So basically what New Orleans gets here is a Urologist/Shutdown Corner combo. Also, he has a stupid goatee.
15. Houston - Vontae Davis - CB
Its Houston. Who cares who they draft.
16. San Diego -Rey Maualuga - LB
San Diego won't put any thought into this one since they already had great success with another Hawain linebacker before.
17. New York Jets - Josh Freeman - QB
Rex Ryan will try and get a Flacco 2.0, but Freeman won't ever live up to Jets greats like Favre, Pennington and Clemens. J-E-T-See you on the golf course.
18. Kansas City (From Denver) - Clay Matthews - LB
After passing up on Gm Scott Pioli's grandmother with their first of denver's picks, Kansas goes with Shady Acres all-star backgammon player Hubert Buttonwood. Seriously though, Cushing is the WHITEST guy i have ever seen in my life.
19. Tampa Bay - Peria Jerry - DT
Tampa trades for CB Terence Newman. Seinfeld like hilarity ensues.
20. Detroit - Aaron Maybin - DE
Maybin he will be good, Maybin he will be bad, only time will tell right?
21. Philly - Knowshon Moreno - RB
Will never be as good as Westbrook. Will get into onfield disputes with McNabb about not getting the ball enough. Will be eaten by Andy Reid.
22. Minnesota - Percy Harvin - WR
Harvin's injury report reads like a novel. That coupled with the fact that he is a poor man's Bernard Berrian means Minnesota doesn't get another steal this year.
23. New England - Brian Cushing - LB
Brian won't like New englands surfing scene. Belichick won't like being called dude. Draft fail.
24. Atlanata - Evander "Ziggy" Hood - DT
Atlanta needs to go name crazy after last years crazy name disappointment. C'mon....Matt Ryan? If all goes to plan, Evander will create the "Ziggy bird" dance after allowing 2-3 yard runs.
25. Miami - Kenny Britt - WR
Bill Parcells will bring the tough Jersey kid to the warm shores of Miami Beach. Look for Parcells to go for CB Christopher Moltisanti in the 2nd round, OLB Silvio Dante in the 4th, and LT Tony Soprano in the 6th
26. Baltimore - Darius Heyward- Bey - WR
A dejected Heyward-Bey will never play a game in the NFL after the recession means he has to chose one last name to appear on this jersey. The Heyward-Bey clan is far to proud to accept this request.
27. Indy - James Laurainitis - LB
Colts fans are extatic that they find this guy's Lithuanian successor
28. Buffalo - Michael Johnson - DE
This guy's neck rivals the CN Tower. Perfect for the Bills relocation to the Great White North
29. New York Giants - Brandon Pettigrew - TE
Recent rumours say that talks with WR Braylon "hands of stone" Edwards have failed. New York turns to the draft to find their player to drop catches in double digits. His criminal record is also a plus in the eyes of the Giants brass.
30. Tennessee - Larry English - LB
Some are touting this guy as the next Shawne Merriman. That means he will injure himself roughly once a year, be a bad anchor on an even worse network, and get OWNED by 5'7" runningbacks.
31. Arizona - Chris "Beanie" Wells - RB
Arizona drafts another offensive player to hide how bad Kurt Warner actually is.
32. Pittsburgh - Max Unger - C
This draft gives Big Ben a new bum to touch. Big Ben likes touching bums.
Familiar Gestures, Familiar Results?
It seems somewhat insensitive to the Canadiens and their organization to write something about them hours after being swept in an embarrassing effort on home ice to a hated rival, in the celebration of the team’s Centennial season. But I don’t like Montreal, and after the way they treated Carey Price (whom i wouldn’t normally defend) it reiterates my dislike for that fan base.
I do appreciate the passion the fans have for their organization, and every team who isn’t playing up to their potential deserves to be booed so the players know their fans still care. But last night’s series clinching defeat at the hands of the superior Bruins was encapsulated by one image – the image of accepted defeat, and what appears to be a hostile, shaky relationship for years to come. After making an easy save on a dump in the fans roared with an ovation in a mocking tone to which Price replied by raising his arms in victory a la Patrick Roy. The boos that followed will hopefully represent the end of the Price era in Montreal for his sake so he can salvage his young and promising career.
The real reason why Les Habitants and their faithful fans should be upset was the lack of defensive presence in the entire series, and their inadequacies in the neutral zone. This ultimately led to a poor defensive effort, and in turn 15 goals allowed in the series. Without Andrei Markov, and more rudimentarily Mark Streit, the Habs suffered defensively.
So please Habs fans, boo yourselves. You have destroyed a relationship with another great, young goaltender, and I hope for his sake you start Halak for Price’s remaining tenure, so he can flee and go somewhere where he will be able to play without being the scapegoat , or the bouc émissaire for his team’s inadequacies. Bonne chance, Royal Mountain. Bonne Chance!
I do appreciate the passion the fans have for their organization, and every team who isn’t playing up to their potential deserves to be booed so the players know their fans still care. But last night’s series clinching defeat at the hands of the superior Bruins was encapsulated by one image – the image of accepted defeat, and what appears to be a hostile, shaky relationship for years to come. After making an easy save on a dump in the fans roared with an ovation in a mocking tone to which Price replied by raising his arms in victory a la Patrick Roy. The boos that followed will hopefully represent the end of the Price era in Montreal for his sake so he can salvage his young and promising career.
The real reason why Les Habitants and their faithful fans should be upset was the lack of defensive presence in the entire series, and their inadequacies in the neutral zone. This ultimately led to a poor defensive effort, and in turn 15 goals allowed in the series. Without Andrei Markov, and more rudimentarily Mark Streit, the Habs suffered defensively.
So please Habs fans, boo yourselves. You have destroyed a relationship with another great, young goaltender, and I hope for his sake you start Halak for Price’s remaining tenure, so he can flee and go somewhere where he will be able to play without being the scapegoat , or the bouc émissaire for his team’s inadequacies. Bonne chance, Royal Mountain. Bonne Chance!
Reed Johnson
Last week was interesting in that Jays fans found one more reason to hate JP Riccardi, and the Jays weren’t even playing at that time, they had lost 8-4 to the Indians earlier in the day. The catalyst for this latest feeling of dismay towards JP was Reed Johnson’s spectacular catch to rob Prince Fielder of a grand slam. This catch will be in the top 5 plays of the year on Sportcentre’s year end best plays list for sure.
Reed's spectacular catch (bottom video)
It was early spring training prior to last season that JP Riccardi, in a moment of true wisdom, decided ‘hey we don’t need this guy he doesn’t bring enough to the table.’ He’s only been a career .284 hitter and might be the best defensive outfielder in all of baseball next to maybe Ichiro. I think the guy we really need is Shannon Stewart, a guy we cut years earlier because his career was starting to decline. Why wouldn’t bringing him back at the tail end of his career, in favour of Reed Johnson be a good idea? Well that question was answered rather quickly when Shannon was released by the Jays half way through the season and Johnson made catches like this for the Cubs:
Of course, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, the future of the Jays franchise are the left fielders now, but who could have known that they would make such an impact last year after they were forced to come in after the Shannon Stewart experiment ended the way it did. Stewies numbers for the Jays last year? a .240 average in 52 games.
Reed's spectacular catch (bottom video)
It was early spring training prior to last season that JP Riccardi, in a moment of true wisdom, decided ‘hey we don’t need this guy he doesn’t bring enough to the table.’ He’s only been a career .284 hitter and might be the best defensive outfielder in all of baseball next to maybe Ichiro. I think the guy we really need is Shannon Stewart, a guy we cut years earlier because his career was starting to decline. Why wouldn’t bringing him back at the tail end of his career, in favour of Reed Johnson be a good idea? Well that question was answered rather quickly when Shannon was released by the Jays half way through the season and Johnson made catches like this for the Cubs:
Of course, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, the future of the Jays franchise are the left fielders now, but who could have known that they would make such an impact last year after they were forced to come in after the Shannon Stewart experiment ended the way it did. Stewies numbers for the Jays last year? a .240 average in 52 games.
Monday, April 13, 2009
NHL Playoffs: Playoff Picks (Part 3)
Here are Guest Contributor Kyle Compeau's Picks. Kyle brings a depth of knowledge in Hockey, Football and Basketball as well as sports betting. Without further adieu:
Eastern Conference
Bruins/Canadiens – Bruins in 5
In lieu of the Habs’ 100th season, and the luminating rumour as presented by Tammy Duncan Donuts’ elites of Celine Dion purchasing the team, I propose a cup futility streak for the Canadiens for years to come. Zdeno Chara with the Gordie Howe Hat Trick in game 5.
Washington/New York – Caps in 7
As an Oakland Raiders fan I have come to accept the fact that defense is more important than offense. However the disparity between these two teams with respect to offense and defense is too much. Henrik will keep this close, and Avery will eliminate Ovie in 3 of 7 games. But the second round matchup of Ovechkin vs Crosby is ever more intriguing this year than ever before.
New Jersey/Carolina – Hurricanes in 6
The Hurricanes are looking like the team that stomped on my heart a few years ago and beat the Oil in 7. Solid goaltending, and veteran players are filling their roles well. Canes will make a serious push for the Eastern crown behind an epic playoff performance from the eldest of Hockey’s Procrastination family. Yes I made a “Staal” joke.
Pittsburgh/Philly – Penguins in 6
One of the best matchups of the first round on paper. Pretty even matchup in terms of firepower and goaltenders, but I’m giving the nod to Fleury. Sid the Kid and Malkin are poised to make it out of the first round coming in hot and being the underdog after not living up to expectations this season. Crosby vs Ovie will happen.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim – Sharks in 5
Another decent matchup, and if it were the Ducks and Wings like it was supposed to be I’d have the Ducks advancing. But the firepower of the Sharks are too much, and Nabokov should keep the Ducks shooters in check. I can see the Ducks squeezing one out before the girl who slept with Pronger in Edmonton inevitably leading to his departure in an attempt to save his broken marriage will show up in San Jose for retribution and throw him off his game.
Red Wings/Jackets – Wings in 5
Steve Mason and Rick Nash. That's it. I'll gladly take Johan Franzen for 4 mil a year in a decade's worth of investing than rely on Kristian Huselius to be my secondary scoring. I hope this gets ugly.
Canucks/Blues – Canucks in 5
Give the Blues 1 win in the classic get swept on the road, than re-gain some hope by winning game 3, then get shitstomped in 4 and 5. I am also taking the over on +/- 0.5 points registered by Roberto Luongo.
Hawks/Flames – Blackhawks in 6
Every time I see the NHL network commercial with Patrick Kane I become a pseudo-Hawks fan. That and the fact that the captain of the Hawks is younger than me. Someone younger than me is captaining a National Hockey League team, and I am writing about how he is younger than me. Who wins this war? But really, I hate Calgary, and I hope they get swept. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and give Calgary games 3 and 4 at home.
Cup Finals
Hurricanes/Sharks – Sharks in 5
The East is completely wide open, and the Crosby/Ovechkin matchup will ultimately lead to the demise of the winner’s respective team, leading to a Hurricanes Cup berth after upsetting the Bruins. However, the Sharks will be on a roll at this point after steamrolling the Wings in the Western finals.
Conn Smythe: Patrick Marleau
Eastern Conference
Bruins/Canadiens – Bruins in 5
In lieu of the Habs’ 100th season, and the luminating rumour as presented by Tammy Duncan Donuts’ elites of Celine Dion purchasing the team, I propose a cup futility streak for the Canadiens for years to come. Zdeno Chara with the Gordie Howe Hat Trick in game 5.
Washington/New York – Caps in 7
As an Oakland Raiders fan I have come to accept the fact that defense is more important than offense. However the disparity between these two teams with respect to offense and defense is too much. Henrik will keep this close, and Avery will eliminate Ovie in 3 of 7 games. But the second round matchup of Ovechkin vs Crosby is ever more intriguing this year than ever before.
New Jersey/Carolina – Hurricanes in 6
The Hurricanes are looking like the team that stomped on my heart a few years ago and beat the Oil in 7. Solid goaltending, and veteran players are filling their roles well. Canes will make a serious push for the Eastern crown behind an epic playoff performance from the eldest of Hockey’s Procrastination family. Yes I made a “Staal” joke.
Pittsburgh/Philly – Penguins in 6
One of the best matchups of the first round on paper. Pretty even matchup in terms of firepower and goaltenders, but I’m giving the nod to Fleury. Sid the Kid and Malkin are poised to make it out of the first round coming in hot and being the underdog after not living up to expectations this season. Crosby vs Ovie will happen.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim – Sharks in 5
Another decent matchup, and if it were the Ducks and Wings like it was supposed to be I’d have the Ducks advancing. But the firepower of the Sharks are too much, and Nabokov should keep the Ducks shooters in check. I can see the Ducks squeezing one out before the girl who slept with Pronger in Edmonton inevitably leading to his departure in an attempt to save his broken marriage will show up in San Jose for retribution and throw him off his game.
Red Wings/Jackets – Wings in 5
Steve Mason and Rick Nash. That's it. I'll gladly take Johan Franzen for 4 mil a year in a decade's worth of investing than rely on Kristian Huselius to be my secondary scoring. I hope this gets ugly.
Canucks/Blues – Canucks in 5
Give the Blues 1 win in the classic get swept on the road, than re-gain some hope by winning game 3, then get shitstomped in 4 and 5. I am also taking the over on +/- 0.5 points registered by Roberto Luongo.
Hawks/Flames – Blackhawks in 6
Every time I see the NHL network commercial with Patrick Kane I become a pseudo-Hawks fan. That and the fact that the captain of the Hawks is younger than me. Someone younger than me is captaining a National Hockey League team, and I am writing about how he is younger than me. Who wins this war? But really, I hate Calgary, and I hope they get swept. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and give Calgary games 3 and 4 at home.
Cup Finals
Hurricanes/Sharks – Sharks in 5
The East is completely wide open, and the Crosby/Ovechkin matchup will ultimately lead to the demise of the winner’s respective team, leading to a Hurricanes Cup berth after upsetting the Bruins. However, the Sharks will be on a roll at this point after steamrolling the Wings in the Western finals.
Conn Smythe: Patrick Marleau
Sunday, April 12, 2009
NHL Playoffs: Playoff Picks (Part 2)
Eric's Picks:
In all of my infinite, I mean minuscule, wisdom I present to you my NHL Playoff picks for 2009. I suggest you buy some pro line tickets and take all of my advice as gospel, or don't.. you can do whatever you want.
Eastern Conference
Boston/Montreal - Montreal in 7
I’m taking the Habs, because as a fan I have to. Also, with Schneider in the lineup still, the power play can’t fail, unless Gainey throws Laroque out there again on a 5-3. Lucic better watch his back, Laroque will be looming.
Washington/New York - Washington in 5
I’m taking the Caps. The firepower of Ovechkin, Semin, Backstrom and Green are way too much to handle for New York’s rock solid D which includes the likes Wade Redden (-5) and Michal Roszival (-7).
New Jersey/Carolina - Carolina in 6
Brodeur will probably play well now that he can no longer ruin my fantasy team’s chances. He took care of that over the last 2 weeks. I HELD ON TO YOU WHILE YOU WERE HURT! Carolina is hot right now however, and should still win.
Pittsburgh/Philadelphia – Pittsburgh in 6
Pittsburgh is one of the hottest teams in the league right now. Also, it would be a shame if Sid the Kid had to shave off his magnificent facial hair after only one round. The world deserves to see that thing get long and dirty.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim – San Jose in 5
San Jose will steamroll the Ducks and it comes down to this; San Jose’s old men are better than Anaheim’s old men. Claude Lemieux is a playoff legend and Rob Blake is better than Pronger. In a desperate attempt to cement his legacy as a big slow overrated piece of crap Pronger put up a stellar 0 +/- rating this season after being around -7 most of the year. The only thing San Jose needs to worry about is getting caught by a Pronger elbow about 35 seconds after a play.
Detroit/Columbus – Detroit in 6
The only thing that will keep this series close is the goaltending. Osgood is bad and Mason is good. Detroit’s players collectively will be enough to overcome this however. Detroit simply has better players on their team than Columbus. That’s what it would sound like if John Madden was a hockey analyst.
Vancouver/St. Louis – St. Louis in 6
Mats Sundin has always been golfing at this point in the year, so he’ll be really eager to get this season over with so he can go back to the Sweden and work on lowering his handicap. He’s gotten really good the last few years because he’s had so much time to practice around April. The key to a great golf game is an early start to the season says Mats.
Chicago/Calgary – Calgary in 7
I think Calgary will pull themselves together and squeak out a victory over the Hawks. I think Iron Mike’s brilliant strategy of pulling Kipper from nearly every game down the stretch has done a lot to improve his confidence and could be the key to the series.
Cup Final: San Jose/Washington - San Jose in 6
The old men have been there before and been through the war it takes to win a Cup. Also, most of these dinosaurs will probably retire after this season and will want to go out with a bang. Thornton and Marleau have been great all year, and Nabokov will step up and play well enough to beat Chris Osgood in the Conference finals.
In all of my infinite, I mean minuscule, wisdom I present to you my NHL Playoff picks for 2009. I suggest you buy some pro line tickets and take all of my advice as gospel, or don't.. you can do whatever you want.
Eastern Conference
Boston/Montreal - Montreal in 7
I’m taking the Habs, because as a fan I have to. Also, with Schneider in the lineup still, the power play can’t fail, unless Gainey throws Laroque out there again on a 5-3. Lucic better watch his back, Laroque will be looming.
Washington/New York - Washington in 5
I’m taking the Caps. The firepower of Ovechkin, Semin, Backstrom and Green are way too much to handle for New York’s rock solid D which includes the likes Wade Redden (-5) and Michal Roszival (-7).
New Jersey/Carolina - Carolina in 6
Brodeur will probably play well now that he can no longer ruin my fantasy team’s chances. He took care of that over the last 2 weeks. I HELD ON TO YOU WHILE YOU WERE HURT! Carolina is hot right now however, and should still win.
Pittsburgh/Philadelphia – Pittsburgh in 6
Pittsburgh is one of the hottest teams in the league right now. Also, it would be a shame if Sid the Kid had to shave off his magnificent facial hair after only one round. The world deserves to see that thing get long and dirty.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim – San Jose in 5
San Jose will steamroll the Ducks and it comes down to this; San Jose’s old men are better than Anaheim’s old men. Claude Lemieux is a playoff legend and Rob Blake is better than Pronger. In a desperate attempt to cement his legacy as a big slow overrated piece of crap Pronger put up a stellar 0 +/- rating this season after being around -7 most of the year. The only thing San Jose needs to worry about is getting caught by a Pronger elbow about 35 seconds after a play.
Detroit/Columbus – Detroit in 6
The only thing that will keep this series close is the goaltending. Osgood is bad and Mason is good. Detroit’s players collectively will be enough to overcome this however. Detroit simply has better players on their team than Columbus. That’s what it would sound like if John Madden was a hockey analyst.
Vancouver/St. Louis – St. Louis in 6
Mats Sundin has always been golfing at this point in the year, so he’ll be really eager to get this season over with so he can go back to the Sweden and work on lowering his handicap. He’s gotten really good the last few years because he’s had so much time to practice around April. The key to a great golf game is an early start to the season says Mats.
Chicago/Calgary – Calgary in 7
I think Calgary will pull themselves together and squeak out a victory over the Hawks. I think Iron Mike’s brilliant strategy of pulling Kipper from nearly every game down the stretch has done a lot to improve his confidence and could be the key to the series.
Cup Final: San Jose/Washington - San Jose in 6
The old men have been there before and been through the war it takes to win a Cup. Also, most of these dinosaurs will probably retire after this season and will want to go out with a bang. Thornton and Marleau have been great all year, and Nabokov will step up and play well enough to beat Chris Osgood in the Conference finals.
NHL Playoffs: Playoff Picks (Part 1)
Ladies & Gentlemen, it is the most exciting time of the year. 12 hours of studying in the library followed by 5 hours parked in front of the TV. What more could a lover of the sedentary life ask for? Lets dive right into it shall we:
Erik's Picks:
Well i thought i had everything figured out until St Louis decided they were going to turn into a good hockey team and snag the 6th spot from Columbus. So I'll try and make this sound as smart as possible.
Eastern Conference
Boston/Montreal - Boston in 5
The AKA line combined with a solid outing by Price will mean the Habs steal a game at home. Boston is just too good defensively to let anything else happen.
Washington/New York - Caps in 4
The Rangers played just well enough to land the 7 spot, but the highpowered Caps team is going to absolutely light up the rangers, especially at home. Needless to say it will all be blamed on Wade Redden.
New Jersey/Carolina - New Jersey in 7
This is going to be the best first round series with Jersey limping in at the 3 spot and the Canes on what seems like a mission from god. Although i really want to see Paul Maurice do well, history has told me not to bet against the Devils.
Pittsburgh/Philly - Pittsburgh in 5
I was fortunate enough to go to Game 4 in Philly last year, in which the Flyers beat up the Pens en route to a game 5 series ending loss. The Wachovia Centre is easily the loudest building I've ever been in with absolutely insane fans that will be provide enough spark to take a game from the Pens.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim - San Jose in 4
San Jose is unbelievably stacked up and down their roster. I know a lot of people like Anaheim as the upset special, but San Jose added cup winners in Boyle and Blake, and their scoring lines will light up Jonas "Goldberg" Hiller. Im even guessing JS Giguere makes an appearance in game 3 after 2 huge losses.
Red Wings/ Jackets - Red Wings in 4
Seeing as i have the Wings winning it all its suiting that they win their first round. Although i really want them to do well, Colombus is just too inexperienced with no proven winner on their team.
Canucks/Blues - Canucks in 4
Luongo will get two shutouts against the star-less Blues. Like Colombus, St Louis is too young (besides the ageless Tkachuk) Dont believe me? The Blues have 12 guys on their roster born after 1984. I like the blues to contend for the cup in 3 years.
Hawks/Flames - Flames in 6
Inexperience (see a theme here?) will be the hawks downfall. The flames will find their game at the right time and ride a couple stellar Kiprusoff outings into the second round. Watch for Patrick Kane to be pointless in the first three games.
Cup Final: Wings/Devils - Wings in 7
People forget that the Wings won the cup last year with Chris Osgood. They also forget all they did was ADD Marian Hossa. Martin Brodeur will add to his legend, but ultimitely Pavel Datsyuk's two way game, Holmstrom's front-of-the-netedness, Zetterberg and Hossa's scoring ability and the grind em out style of Draper and Maltby will come up big in game 7. Oh yeah, did I almost forget to mention this guy?
Erik's Picks:
Well i thought i had everything figured out until St Louis decided they were going to turn into a good hockey team and snag the 6th spot from Columbus. So I'll try and make this sound as smart as possible.
Eastern Conference
Boston/Montreal - Boston in 5
The AKA line combined with a solid outing by Price will mean the Habs steal a game at home. Boston is just too good defensively to let anything else happen.
Washington/New York - Caps in 4
The Rangers played just well enough to land the 7 spot, but the highpowered Caps team is going to absolutely light up the rangers, especially at home. Needless to say it will all be blamed on Wade Redden.
New Jersey/Carolina - New Jersey in 7
This is going to be the best first round series with Jersey limping in at the 3 spot and the Canes on what seems like a mission from god. Although i really want to see Paul Maurice do well, history has told me not to bet against the Devils.
Pittsburgh/Philly - Pittsburgh in 5
I was fortunate enough to go to Game 4 in Philly last year, in which the Flyers beat up the Pens en route to a game 5 series ending loss. The Wachovia Centre is easily the loudest building I've ever been in with absolutely insane fans that will be provide enough spark to take a game from the Pens.
Western Conference
San Jose/Anaheim - San Jose in 4
San Jose is unbelievably stacked up and down their roster. I know a lot of people like Anaheim as the upset special, but San Jose added cup winners in Boyle and Blake, and their scoring lines will light up Jonas "Goldberg" Hiller. Im even guessing JS Giguere makes an appearance in game 3 after 2 huge losses.
Red Wings/ Jackets - Red Wings in 4
Seeing as i have the Wings winning it all its suiting that they win their first round. Although i really want them to do well, Colombus is just too inexperienced with no proven winner on their team.
Canucks/Blues - Canucks in 4
Luongo will get two shutouts against the star-less Blues. Like Colombus, St Louis is too young (besides the ageless Tkachuk) Dont believe me? The Blues have 12 guys on their roster born after 1984. I like the blues to contend for the cup in 3 years.
Hawks/Flames - Flames in 6
Inexperience (see a theme here?) will be the hawks downfall. The flames will find their game at the right time and ride a couple stellar Kiprusoff outings into the second round. Watch for Patrick Kane to be pointless in the first three games.
Cup Final: Wings/Devils - Wings in 7
People forget that the Wings won the cup last year with Chris Osgood. They also forget all they did was ADD Marian Hossa. Martin Brodeur will add to his legend, but ultimitely Pavel Datsyuk's two way game, Holmstrom's front-of-the-netedness, Zetterberg and Hossa's scoring ability and the grind em out style of Draper and Maltby will come up big in game 7. Oh yeah, did I almost forget to mention this guy?
You can't spell redemption without "FOX"
Thursday, April 9, 2009
9 Reasons why Celine Dion should buy the Habs
With the sale of Les Canadiens on the horizon, I give to you 9 reasons why Celine Dion would be the best owner.
Une: Celine can set an amazing example having performed 5 nights a week from 2003-2007 in Las Vegas....4 nights a week and 3 years more than Alex Kovalev.
Deux: Fans can take that increidbly annoying "Ole Ole Ole Ole" chant that they stole from countless soccer teams and replace it with "My Heart Will Go On." It will be fitting because much like the Titanic, the Habs season's have recently hit a proverbial Iceberg around April.
Trois: Her 2008-2009 "Taking Chances" tour wil be a perfect marketing ploy crossover for having Carey Price as a starting goalie.
Qautre: Celine's mother is commonly known in Quebec as a prototypical "stagemom". This, coupled with the fact that her maiden name is Tanguay will help propel Alex Tanguay's dream of becoming a dancer for RENT upon retirement.
Cinq: The habs would save money hiring her touring keyboardist as the Bell Centre's full-time organist, blasting such hits as "Beauty and the Beast (a sentiment to Sergei Kostitsyn), and "Its all coming back to me now" (memories of 93).
Six: No Belorussian mobster will want to do business with someone whose boss is CELINE DION.
Sept: She's actually French...sorry... Quebecois.
Huit: Celine's successful perfume line (for women) will actually help add some much needed toughness to the lineup
Neuf: They can play their preseason games in Las vegas, something Gary Betman has had a boner over since becoming commisioner. (from Eric).
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Masters!
Well it’s that time of year again folks, one of the most amazing sports spectacles in the world is about to begin. I am not talking about the curling world championships, nor the cricket world cup qualifying tournament or even the Leafs annual meaningless batch of games down the playoff stretch. No, I am talking of course, about the Masters. This year the golf media is asking one question, will Padraig Harrington continue his run of consecutive major tournament wins? And the man everyone wants to talk to about it? Now the big thing I’m looking forward to is the (possible) confrontation between Steve Williams, Tiger’s caddy, and Phil Mickelson regarding certain hilarious comments Williams made a few months ago about Phil. http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=3770488.
I picture the confrontation taking place like this. Tiger and Phil are paired together on Sunday. It’s a close battle between the two rivals with Tiger leading by a stroke on the 15th hole. Phil will be lining up his birdie putt that would tie Tiger, and Williams will make a fart noise with his mouth as Phil is about to strike his putt. This will throw Phil off and he will smash his ball 15 feet past the hole. This will prompt Phil to throw his putter at Williams and the two will engage in fist a cuffs right on the green. After Williams is ejected from the tournament for this behaviour, Tiger will be forced to carry his own bag for the remaining 3 holes and will still emerge victorious. Even if this doesn’t happen, the tournament should still be highly entertaining, although I will be disappointed. Enjoy the weekend everyone!
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